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January 13, 2011
Prenups for Career Women?
 More working women are demanding prenups. Seventy-three percent of divorce attorneys report an increase in prenuptial agreements during the past five years, with 52 percent seeing an increase in women initiating the requests, according to a recent AAML poll.
"As women become more successful, the tables turn," Amy Weil, partner at The Weil Firm, tells PINK. "Divorce is so prevalent, and with more women becoming the primary wage earner, the likelihood that they will seek a prenup is greater than it used to be."
It’s a touchy subject. Not sure how to approach it? Sit down with your partner and go over details before entering prenup territory, suggests Black Enterprise. What are your financial goals? How different are your money management styles? Will you have separate accounts? How much personal debt do you have?
Experts advise discussing the agreement in an honest way early in the relationship, asking plenty of questions, hiring your own attorney to keep bias out and making sure future children are also protected.
Weil adds that family money and inheritance are also assets to consider protecting, and prenups can be amended if your situation changes.
If you get one from your fiancé, don’t panic. Hire a lawyer to oversee the process, request spousal support and be sure to protect your retirement funds and life insurance, says BNET.
Bonus PINK Link: Already tied the knot? Here’s how to renew your financial vows.
By Muriel Vega
"A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two
solos at the same time." Anne Taylor Fleming
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Comments
Pre-nups
Read "Dollars and Common Sense" on wwwthegarterbrides.com set up for women who marry after the age of 35.
Prenups
If the finances are hugely uneven towards one side OR the other a prenup is like car insurance; you never know!
Protect your assets girl!
I'm for prenups. Women/Men should protect their assets. Love is beautiful when all is going well. I think a prenup is like insurance. It's there if you need it. You hope for the best in relationships, but sometimes it doesn't work. A dissolving marriage can rapidly become vicious and some people may become vindictive. It's better to have the financials squared away early so you can focus on rebuilding your life w/o having to start from scratch or a cardboard box.
Successful prenup=Successful marriage
My husband and I were married in 2007 - happily with a prenup.
It was my first marriage at age 40, his second at age 49, no children.
During our year and 1/2 long engagement, we argued frequently over spending habits, saving habits, debt, etc. We learned we were raised with polar opposite ideas about money.
(He was ultra-conservative financially, I was a liberal spender and had the bad credit report to show for it)
When he first brought up the idea of a prenup, I was offended. We got to a point where we considered calling off the wedding. The prenup negotiation finally forced us into pre-marital counseling where both of us faced our fears around marriage, money and control.
Our agreement is simple compared to most - all assets acquired after marriage are divided 50/50 but my husband can keep a small amount of pre-marital family money and assets seperate.
Our arguments over money have evolved into a respectful dialogue. We have one joint checking account, monthly budget meetings, and no debt except for our house.
I highly recommend negotiating a prenup with your fiance before marriage. The reality is money = power. Our prenup was the catalyst for me as a woman to negotiate what I wanted in my marriage. I asked for what I wanted, and after some negotiation, I got it.
My husband and I are happy that we chose to lay all our financial cards on the table before marriage. No surprises.
With our eyes wide open, we willingly gave each other the opportunity to back out gracefully before the wedding.
Instead we chose to accept each other - unconditionally - for better or worse - with debts, assets, warts and all.
Andrea Borden Schmidt
andrea@bordenschmidt.com
For or Against Prenups
Personally, I believe that if you go into a relationship believing that someday you'll need to worry about splitting up your assets, then you shouldn't enter into the relationship to begin with.
Unfortunately, in today's society, there are so many people out there with their own agendas...you don't even know if you can trust the person you're committing to. Because of this unfortunate state of affairs, I agree, if you are a person with any substantial income or assets, you should have a prenup.
PreNups - FOR IT - maybe
Back in 1981, I did an undergraduate paper in a women's studies class on the importance of prenups for women as our generation was committed to a career and family. I remember feeling strongly about it as a young 22 year old, but a year later when I got married, I did not get a prenup - as what assets did I have at that time - really? And, I was in love forever! Thankfully, I did not need a prenup - we celebrate 30 years and 3 successful kids in July! But as my daughter finishes medical school, I might suggest this concept to her to protect her hard won efforts and success later on. And depending on how my sons make their decisions, it may be something for them to think about also.......As men and women are marrying later - after financial success - versus as recent college grads - a prenup protects everyone. A good idea but not a new idea. And, not just for the multi millionaires anymore - however, it is sad that marriage has become a business arrangement - committment based on a contract versus trust. I ofen wonder - as I see the over the top weddings these days - and the TV shows that make the "look" more important than the love - if a couple spent more time talking about the relationship and being sure that was right versus how the reception and the bride's body looks, maybe, marriage would get back to regaining the deep committment needed to sustain itself for 25 - 50 years.
Prenups
A prenup is almost a given with couples getting married after they have both started careers. Rarely are both partners on the same financial "playing field." It become very important to seek solid financial counseling as a couple and probably draw up a prenup, especially if children, inheritance, or owning a company is or will be be part of the equation. Better to make all that clear before getting married. I had a friend who went through the process of a prenup with her fiancee and then determined that what he really wanted from her was a housekeeper, cook, and on-call driver for his 2 teenage children plus half her income. She called it off. So the process of a pre-nup can also get to some of the core issues.