July 19, 2011
Negotiate Like a Man
It’s a fact: Many women are great negotiators. The problem? Too often, they’re reluctant to negotiate on their own behalf.
What’s the deterrent?
“The data shows that when men negotiate for themselves, people like them, respect them and want to work with them more,” said Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg at a recent women's summit. When it comes to women negotiating, she continued, “both men and women want to work with them less, so the behavior itself is not rewarded.”
But Jessica Miller, co-author of A Woman’s Guide to Successful Negotiating and director at a real estate firm, says when women do it right, they’re actually “looked upon favorably and are more likely to be successful in their careers.”
Miller says many women are taught to believe it’s wrong to ask for things for themselves. “They are taught to hint or phrase what they want in terms of a common good,” she adds. “This often carries over into the workplace to the detriment of women.”
Teri Hawkins, career coach and bestselling author, agrees. “To men, [negotiating] is a kind of sport,” she says. “Men experienced the empowerment of failure without quitting. They know the rules – ‘quitting is not an option.’”
Hawkins adds that women can take negotiating cues from men by not conceding after the first ‘no,’ keeping emotions out of it and having a variety of routes to get what you want.
Bonus PINK Link: Find out how to make a lousy economy work for you through the art of negotiating in our online exclusive.
Do you like to negotiate? Take our poll or tell us in the comments.
By Caroline Cox
"If you can't go around it, over it, or through it,
you had better negotiate with it." Ashleigh Brilliant
*Supporting images from FreeDigitalPhotos.net, photostock, Robert Cochrane and m_bartosch.