When you start a new job, you go in with hopes of making new best friends. At the very least, you want to be able to get along with your colleagues. You hope that the people you work with will be happy to go out for lunch or a drink, and enjoy a chat over the photocopier. But it’s not as easy as walking in and immediately being well-loved by the entire office. Sometimes you just don’t gel with people, and sometimes you just need to work a bit harder at forging those relationships.
Being in a work environment where you don’t click with anyone is a nightmare. And being in one where you have an openly hostile working relationship is even worse. Follow these tips for making friends at work, or at the very least dealing with the people you don’t get along with.
People like others to recognize them for a job well done. Pay attention to what other people are doing and congratulate them on hard work and successes. Simple politeness goes a long way too. People appreciate smiling, saying please and thank you, and even saying hello and goodbye. These things are particularly important if you have people you manage. Employees expect politeness and praise from their boss or superior, and they’ll like you a lot better for it.
When you work in shared office space, it’s important to recognize when people are available to talk. Be aware of what others are doing, and you’ll avoid interjecting when they’re trying to get something done. They won’t thank you for interrupting them when they’re rushing around, trying to meet a deadline. And be careful with what you say, as well as when you say it.
If you’re looking to start hanging out with colleagues outside of work, first you should take an interest in their personal life at work. Ask about their families and hobbies, and discuss your weekends or evenings when you arrive in the morning. Pay attention to their moods while they’re working and sympathize with them, whether they’re happy or sad. Make sure you balance what you ask them to reveal and what you’re willing to talk to them about. It’s strange if one of you is doing all the talking.
When it’s lunchtime, or time to go home, don’t rush off immediately. Doing so will make it look like you can’t wait to get out of there and away from everyone else. Although sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable to want time to yourself, make sure you don’t go off on your own all the time. Especially if other people spend their breaks together, you’ll look like the antisocial one if you don’t want to join in.
When you leave school, you hope that you have left bullying behind. But often that’s not the case, and many people find themselves feeling victimized at work. It may seem like a no-brainer, but treating your colleagues as you want them to treat you will get you far. Even if you don’t like them and they don’t like you, take the higher ground and be polite for the sake of your working relationship.
One thing you probably don’t want people to do is talk about you behind your back. It may be difficult not to join in, especially when you’re dying to agree with someone about a colleague’s behavior. But there is always a risk that gossip will get back to the person it’s about. If you do have a problem with someone, you can choose to keep silent or to confront them. Which one is most appropriate will depend on the situation, but if all you want to do is vent then wait until you get home. It’s better that whoever you live with gets fed up with your work complaints than you create a bad atmosphere in the office.
Sometimes when there’s just no chance of getting along with a colleague, you need to do something about it. In particular, if a colleague is doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable or upset, you should follow the company procedure for reporting it. It can be difficult to work up the courage to do this, and you should weigh up the possibilities of where it might lead. It could end in the problem getting resolved, or it could escalate and get worse. In the best case, your company has a supportive system that resolves these issues appropriately. You can also attempt to deal with problems informally, by approaching your colleague face-to-face. This may help to resolve the issue, but you should remain calm and prepare yourself for them to be unresponsive.
8. Don’t Push Too Hard to Make Friends
Never put making friends over being a professional. Remember that you are there to do your job first of all. By being nice at work and during breaks, you can increase your chances of socializing with your colleagues outside of work. But people don’t need to see everything of who you are while you’re working. The worst case scenario, when you’re polite and professional, is that you haven’t made best friends. If you get on with your work you’re unlikely to clash with anyone or make any enemies.
Make yourself stand out as the friendly and helpful one by offering help when others need it. Don’t be so enthusiastic that it gets annoying, but be willing to lend a hand when someone asks. Even when no one’s asking, you might want to volunteer to help someone occasionally if you have the time. But don’t slack off on your own work to help others.
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