Are Women Too Emotional at Work?

A colleague of mine recently mentioned that the male managers in her office were complaining because their female direct reports were “too emotional.” Interesting. As we dug deeper into this issue, many questions arose. What exactly did they mean by emotional? Were the women crying hysterically in their managers’ offices, raising their voices in anger, or simply stating honestly how they felt about something? How much emotion is too much and how much is not enough? If women display their feelings differently from men, does this cause a male-dominated workplace to cringe?

Women in business frequently get labeled with stereotypes just as men do. The problem is that male stereotypes make men appear more competent while those for women do the opposite. Psychologists have performed studies where both sexes are asked to use adjectives to describe men and women. The adjectives offered for men include “competent,” “logical,” “rational” and “realistic.” For women? We’re seen as “emotional,” “affectionate,” “nurturing” and…”whiny.” This is an insult to all of us who have worked or do work in the business world. I don’t know about you, but I have managed just as many whiny guys as whiny women. Levels of emotion displayed depend on the person more than their gender… and on perception.

Why perception? It is well-known in the workplace that men are often praised for emotion while women are penalized. Claudia Parsons wrote an article in 2007 entitled “Angry Men Get Ahead While Angry Women Get Penalized.” She states that when men get angry others perceive that it’s for a good reason. When women express anger they are “bitchy.” And what about tears? When men cry, they are seen as “sensitive”; when women do the same, they are being… well… emotional.

But let’s assume for now that women are more emotional than men. Is that necessarily bad? Perhaps business would operate more efficiently if workers actually tactfully said what they meant rather than waiting to passive/aggressively strike back. We are taught to be so buttoned up and bureaucratic that companies often loses the creativity we can bring. We are afraid to show it.

Unfortunately, my colleague has not solved the women and emotion puzzle at her company… yet. But she will scratch beneath the surface to find out what the real problem is. And I guarantee it’s not as simple as it’s portrayed to be.

By Erin Wolf