This is how the amazing team of JOYVIAL’s executive health coaches helps each other beat the winter blues. PINK is excited to share this wisdom with the ambitious working women in our community! Wishing you winter days filled with beautify and brightness! Thanks to JOYVIAL CEO and Founder Hanni Berger for sharing this!
“It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s quiet”
On our last team call one of our executive health coaches, who lives in the northeast expressed her emotional turmoil with what I believe many can identify with. She said, “it’s so dark, cold and quiet up here”. Living in the north during the coldest season, the sun rises late and drops so early that you barely get any daylight hours.
In addition, many of her friends are going through challenging times, both physically and mentally. She felt the weight of wanting to help them while needing to attend to her own mental well-being.
Each coach shared their thoughts and experiences on how they keep themselves optimistic and positive during these challenging times. I’ve no doubt that, as you review the below suggestions, you’ll find a few nuggets that resonate with you too.
Health Coaches Top Tools & Techniques:
First, let’s address a struggle that many of us face. We all, especially women, feel the constant push and pull between wanting to help everyone around us when we ourselves don’t feel replenished and strong. Lisa on our team said, “It’s irresponsible for us not to take care of our well-being!” As said so many times before, we must prioritize our own health and that of our family before we can attempt to fill up other people’s empty cups.
Lisa also pointed out the difference between helping others vs. enabling others. Enabling others implies that you try to do their work for them. This could be as simple as telling others how they should proceed in their life rather than helping others come to their own conclusions and owning their decisions. As women, we often feel responsible to fix situations (the enabler), but what most people truly need is just someone who cares and listens.
Another idea that came up was to create awareness in moments when you feel ‘triggered’ (i.e. you find yourself reacting to others with anger, sadness or other painful emotions). Find a quiet spot and asks yourself “Why do I feel this way right now? What’s the underlying message I may have heard (e.g. ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I suck’). Could the other person just be having a bad day and unintentionally taking it out on me? Do their views of how the world / the office / parenting, etc. should look, differ from mine, contributing to this tension? How can I approach this situation with more understanding about their view but equally also look at why I’m triggered?
So often all of us react from deeply rooted experiences from our childhood and beyond showing us what the ‘right way’ is vs. the ‘wrong way’. Someone else, growing up with different experiences will very likely have a different view. At our best self we understand that a community comes with differing points of views, and we show up to situations with that kind of recognition…and a desire to show up with compassion for others and ourselves. In short, try to create awareness of the possible motivations that led to the situation, and with a conscious mind choose your reaction.
When feeling frazzled or stressed here are a few thoughts of ways to ground yourself again. By grounding I imply our desire to feel settled again with a vision of having both feet firmly grounded on Mother Earth. When you feel anxious about anything you may find it helpful to first remind yourself of this simple fact that ‘I’m not bleeding. I’m still breathing, I’m not in crisis’.
In such moments I often like to ask myself if this situation will still bother me when I lie on my deathbed. This may sound brutal, but it grounds me right away as most often the challenges at hand are just not that big as I perceived them at the start.
Focusing on deep breathing is another tool to use when feeling anxious. Deeply inhaling and slowly exhaling will lead your nervous system to calm down again (getting you out of fight-or-flight-mode). It is the simplest tool we recommend to all our clients.
You also want to create greater awareness about what’s at the core of your spinning mind. Ask yourself “What is this truly about?” This simple question allows you to peel back the layers and focus on what actually needs attention vs. flapping your proverbial arms in fifteen directions.
Executive health coach MJ says that often we try to force being happy when we are not by shoving our emotions down. The challenge with that approach is that deep down you haven’t dealt with the emotional baggage. So, the energy is still trapped within you.
This not only builds up unwanted emotions but actually creates imbalance in your cells which promotes disease. Crying it out when you are sad or punching your mattress when you’re angry are great ways to release the emotion and move on.
Going for walks in nature is one of best ways to help her feel at peace again. There is so much research supporting the healing effects of walking in nature (ideally leaving your phone tucked away).
Now there you have it. These are the go-to tools and techniques our executive health coaches use. But like with all tools, it’s important to realize that it’s one thing to have them as a resource and another to use them. Your tools are only as good as you choose to apply them.
We are always here for you. Learn more about JOYVIAL at www.joyvial.com and reach out to us when ready. You can reach us at info@joyvial.com or schedule your free discovery session right here.
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