Befriending Time

A few years ago, I had a banner year for my business. I opened a Washington office, hired a public relations firm, rebranded myself, developed new products, and ultimately exceeded my ambitious financial goals. But by the end of the year, I was exhausted. Exhilarated by success and fueled with adrenaline, I kept going until the Universe said, “Enough!” Within a month, I got two speeding tickets. Instead of slowing down, I bought the best radar detector money could buy and had it installed in the car. Finally, I caught the flu after Christmas. The “energizer bunny” stopped dead in its tracks.

My work-life balance was out of kilter, and my relationship with time had become adversarial. I pledged to befriend time.

I began by journaling. What did it mean to befriend time? I wrote:

One: Become more present. Project less into the future and worry less about the past. Enjoy the gift the present presents. Yikes, I sound like a Hallmark card. This is so much easier to write than to implement, but like most things change begins with awareness.

One strategy that keeps me present is opening my eyes to the beauty around me. For example, I become present on the drive to the grocery store when I look up and see the mountains. Another strategy is to minimize distractions. When I eat, I can turn off the television and savor the food I am eating, and when driving, I can turn off the radio and become more aware of my surroundings. Finally, I can stop multi-tasking and focus on one task at a time.

Two: Prioritize. Stop feeling a hyper sense of urgency on everything. When I feel rushed say to myself, “Stop!” Take three deep cleansing breaths and prioritize. Look at the big picture. Constantly ask myself, does it really matter? Also, make leisure-time activities, such as volunteer work and painting, a high priority. Remember that work-life balance is critical to my happiness.

Three: Pause and check in with my body. Where am I carrying tension? Are my shoulders raised? How am I breathing? Shallow or deep? I read recently that if we take ten deep belly breaths twice a day, we enjoy the same benefits as an hour of yoga or meditation. When I find myself in a line, or in traffic, I am going to practice deep breathing.

Four: Never rush relationships. Constantly ask myself, what’s important here? In almost every case, it’s the people around me. Give people the gift of being present with them. Put people before activity. At the drug store, look at the cashier in the eye, smile, and connect.

Five: Guard against overscheduling. Allow space in between working with clients to process and reground. Limit travel to twice a month. Schedule time for quiet and introspection.

Six: Watch restlessness. When I become restless, break the routine. Get out of the house, work out of a coffee shop, take a walk, or work out. Follow my energy.

Seven: Use time wisely. Guard against wasting time on the computer. What I am really seeking is connection. Check in with a client or call a friend. I can also watch television less and read more.

In the past, I measured success by the check marks next to the items on my “to do” list. Activity defined accomplishment. Quality of life depends not so much on what I do, but how I do it.




By Randy Siegel