Bridal Boardroom

How can a woman engaged in a 60-hour workweek pull off the event of her lifetime?

By Stephanie Davis

“Right off the bat, my wedding planner gave me a fabulous red leather bag,” says Cammie Rice, a senior vice president at Bank of America. The bag turned out to be more practical than stylish – packed with service contracts, bridal magazine tear-outs, menus, floral options and the like. But Rice’s planner gave her something even more valuable: a life during three months of planning. “Thank God she could do all the running around,” she says. “I would never have had time for all that legwork.”

Rice, who married John Rice, vice chair man and CEO of infrastructure for General Electric, is part of a growing trend. Increasingly, career-focused women are married to their work for years, even decades, before they decide to marry another human being. According to the Condé Nast Bridal Group, the median age for first-time brides rises each year and now stands at 27. “Those that have higher educations tend to get married even later,” says Stephanie Coontz, director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families.

As women wait longer to marry as they rise in the workforce, they have more money for the ceremony and more to spend on extra help from wedding planners – a good thing, since the average cost of a wedding has ballooned by 100 percent since 1990. But seasoned professional women bring something else to the wedding scene: good business sense. Once the rocks are on their fingers, career women are likely to put the same mentality that got them to the top into planning their nuptials. Given the difficulty of planning a wedding and working around the clock, often the bride-to-be’s first executive decision is outsourcing much of the work.

Rice hired Tony Brewer & Co. to coordinate her event after a recommendation from her fiancé’s colleagues. “If you just go website shopping for a planner, they all say the same thing: They’re going to create this magical, special moment for you,” Rice says. “To me, it’s about R&R: reputation and references.” Brewer’s team not only coordinated the entire wedding day, but also took care of special details like flights and transportation for out-of-town guests.

Yet even with the help of a pro, Rice still had to make her share of decisions – from guest lists to stemware. She scheduled strategy conference calls every Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. to tick things off her list, and answered questions by e-mail throughout the week. The result? Her ceremony went off without a hitch.

The Hired Gun

Sasha Souza, a Napa Valley, Calif., celebrity wedding consultant with 13 years under her bridal belt, tells her clients that she needs to see them in person only twice – including the wedding day. Once hired, she gives her clients an eight-page questionnaire asking every conceivable thing about the event. “The in-person decision-making is done all in one day,” she says. “Everything else is done by e-mail and phone.”

Souza understands that career-focused brides can’t afford to be pulled out of meetings or business trips – which makes Souza’s judgment all the more important to them. “I pick what I think is right for you, and if you don’t like what I’ve chosen then we’ll do something else,” says Souza, who plans weddings ranging in cost from $50,000 to several million dollars. “But I’m paid not to be wrong.”

Like most high-end planners, Souza, who’s usually flanked by a team of 11 at a ceremony, comes with her own production company built into her fee. Her advice? First, make sure your personality meshes with your planner’s, and that your visions for the day match. Second, find out where your planner earns her dough. “We don’t make money from our vendors; we make it from our clients,” Souza says. “If I’m referring someone, you can trust that it’s because I think they’re the best for the job.”

But sometimes, for a variety of reasons, a wedding planner is out of the question. Lori Perella, a partner at the Heidrick and Struggles executive search firm in Chicago, decided against hiring one. “At first I thought it was what I needed, since I was arranging a Chicago wedding from New York,” she says. But after many interviews, Perella just could not find a planner that shared her taste and sensibility.

For seasoned execs like Perella, who spent 20 years in international business development, aesthetics and sophistication are top priorities. Her eventual venue choice, The Racquet Club in Chicago, was just the setting she needed. Perella focused on the big picture and did a lot of groundwork decision-making; then the club’s event manager, Sarah Potter, made it all come to fruition.

“I remember doing one dress fitting while on a product development conference call the whole time,” Perella says. “And no one was ever the wiser.” But as soon as the final decisions were made, she turned the details over to Potter. “She totally understood what I was trying to create,” Perella says. Unlike a traditional wedding planner who charges 10 to 15 percent of the overall event cost, Potter’s services were included in the club’s $250,000 bill.

The Big Day

With minutiae handled by coordinators and dress fittings out of the way early, what’s left for the professional bride- to-be to do? “Whatever she wants to handle,” Souza says. In fact, planners like when brides identify up front what they’d prefer to take care of themselves, whether it’s music or decorations.

Despite a planner’s range of available services, Souza says there is one thing that wedding planners can’t help with on the big day: the relatives.

“Your family is up to you,” she says. But if all goes as planned, family should be the only stressor present at the wedding. “I always try my best to help with relatives,” Souza says, “but it’s very hard, for instance, to tell the mother of the groom she can’t remove a centerpiece from a table.”

Advice From The Pros

Pro: Denis Reggie – Wedding Photojournalist
Claim to Fame: Took the iconic photograph of JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette leaving the chapel by candlelight.
Words of Wisdom: “Decide if you want to be led or followed by your photographer. Sharp businesswomen want to have a wedding that won’t be dated, and that can happen if you have a photographer that poses you and doesn’t look for organic moments.”

Pro: Sasha Souza – Wedding Planner
Claim to Fame: Her weddings have been featured in Modern Bride, InStyle Weddings, Elegant Bride and Martha Stewart Weddings.
Words of Wisdom: “Give me your actual budget. Hit me straight. Give me a range to work in, and then we can decide if you want to spend more on food or drinks or flowers. On average, most clients spend $1,500 on a guest.”

Pro: Anne Barge Clegg – Wedding Dress Designer
Claim to Fame: Her dress was selected for the Today wedding.
Words of Wisdom: “Bring only one person that you trust implicitly when you go dress shopping. Then, when you think you’ve found ‘the dress,’ stop right there and buy it. It takes away from the whole experience if you overshop.”

This article originally appeared in the July.August 2008 issue of PINK Magazine.