Frustration, Confusion and Fear… Oh My!

Just got off the phone with a consulting client who has restructured the people in her business to be aligned with the appropriate job. (Honestly, if I only did one thing all day, it would be style and values testing because it makes people understand their relationships so well!)

Not only is she happier, but so are the other people on the team. According to Gang & Gang, 55% of people are in the wrong jobs. Whether you have a corporate job or are a work at home professional, it means there is a 1 in 2 chance that you are spending a good amount of time on things you’re not good at doing, or thing you hate to do. What does that mean?

Frustration. Confusion. Fear. Doubt. Anger. Resentment.

Lovely emotions to live with, huh?

Getting out of these emotions requires some knowledge of self. Knowledge of self helps you understand relationships whether they are personal or business. Having better relationships with people and tasks means happier self. Simple.

Here are three things you must know about yourself in order to have better relationships:

1. Know your VALUES. Values are the unconscious characteristics that drive us. Notice I said unconscious. That means you aren’t aware of them until you make a choice to become aware. What drives you? Independence, intimacy, wealth, creativity, relationships, learning, challenge… the list goes on and on. Become aware of your top 3 and these are your decision making blueprint. When one (or more) is violated, the result is anger, restriction and resentment.

2. Get comfortable with your strengths. I used to beat myself up because I stink at filing. I would spend hours trying to figure it out, all the while listening to that little voice that kept saying “See how stupid you are? You can’t even figure out where to put a dumb piece of paper! I can’t believe you’re running your own company.” Now that wasn’t so helpful.

We were taught all throughout school to get better at what we’re not good at doing. I totally disagree – again. I say drop what you’re not good at doing and get it done creatively – barter or exchange, or hire it out. You’ll save time, energy and lots of money in the long run by refusing to be working out of your strengths.

3. Learn your personal style. Everybody has “rose colored” glasses when it comes to experiencing the world. Some people are creative and intuitive, some are logical and analytical, some are bottom line strategists and some are harmonious supporters. Where most people get it wrong is they spend most of their life trying to prove that they’re “right” in their assessment of a situation. It’s a losing proposition. An intuitive will never prove to a scientist that intuition exists (well, there are some new studies but…)

In short, it’s all about your credibility. You don’t get to say whether you have it or not – other people do. So when you decide to learn these things you’ll have a whole new perspective on people – and a whole new way of peacefully understanding them.

By Stephanie Frank