The invitation comes in: Want to join us for golf?
If your immediate reaction is, I don’t play, you may be tempted to politely decline. But before you do, consider what else you might be turning down: several uninterrupted hours with a client, a relaxed afternoon with colleagues, an introduction to someone you might never meet in a conference room or a charity tournament filled with business leaders.
Golf isn’t necessary for professional success. Plenty of highly successful women never pick up a club. But for women working in industries where golf is part of the relationship culture, including financial services, law, real estate, construction, technology, healthcare and sales, it can be a useful addition to your professional toolkit.
The goal isn’t to become an exceptional golfer. It’s to be comfortable enough to say yes.
1. You Don’t Have to Be Good to Get Started
This may be the most important rule: You do not need to arrive on the first tee with a beautiful swing and a single-digit handicap.
You simply need enough familiarity with the game to participate comfortably, understand basic etiquette and keep things moving. Take a beginner lesson, spend an hour at a driving range, try a golf clinic or play nine holes with a friend who knows the game. Organizations such as the LPGA Amateur Golf Association also offer opportunities for women to learn and play in a welcoming environment.
And if someone invites you before you feel ready, you can simply say, “I’d love to join you. I’m fairly new to golf, so you’ll have to give me a little grace.”
Confidence isn’t pretending to know something you don’t. It’s being comfortable learning in public.
2. Understand Why Golf Can Be Valuable
A business meeting may give you 30 minutes with someone. A round of golf can give you several hours. That’s unusual in modern professional life.
You’re walking or riding together, talking between shots and getting to know one another outside the normal office hierarchy. Not every minute needs to be filled, either. That creates room for conversations that don’t always happen in formal settings.
You learn about someone’s family, interests, work and goals. You may hear about what she’s excited about, what she’s worried about or where she wants to go next. And she gets the opportunity to learn those things about you, too.
That’s the real business value of golf. It’s not the scorecard. It’s the relationship.
3. Learn the Etiquette Before You Worry About Your Swing
If you’re a beginner, you may worry that people will judge your golf game. Most experienced golfers understand that beginners are beginners. What matters more is knowing enough etiquette to be a considerate playing partner.
Arrive early and be ready when it’s your turn. Learn where to stand while someone else is hitting and avoid talking during another player’s swing. Keep pace with the group, take care of the course and know when it’s better to pick up your ball and move on rather than hold everyone up.
And when you’re unsure, ask. A simple, “I’m still learning the etiquette, so please tell me if there’s something I should know,” goes a long way.
Nobody expects you to know everything the first time you play.
4. Don’t Apologize for Every Shot
You hit the ball into the trees. It happens. You miss a short putt. Also happens. Your drive travels approximately 17 feet. Welcome to golf.
What you don’t need to do is spend four hours saying, “I’m so sorry. I’m terrible at this.”
Your playing partners don’t need an apology after every imperfect shot. Laugh, pick up the ball when necessary, keep moving and try again.
There’s a professional lesson here, too: You don’t need to be excellent at everything to deserve to be in the room, or on the course.
Women sometimes wait until they feel completely prepared before participating. Golf is excellent practice in not doing that.
5. Don’t Turn the Round Into a Four-Hour Sales Pitch
Yes, you’re playing business golf. No, that doesn’t mean you should start pitching on the first tee.
Get to know people. Ask questions. Talk about work when it comes up naturally, and talk about other things, too. If there’s a business issue you genuinely want to discuss, there may be an appropriate moment for it. But the real objective is usually relationship-building, not closing a transaction before the 18th hole.
Think of the round as an investment in the relationship. Connection first. Business second.
The opportunities often follow.
6. Put the Phone Away, Mostly
The original version of this article called golf a “technology-free zone” and instructed players to turn off their cell phones and BlackBerrys.
The BlackBerry may be gone, but the underlying advice has become even more important.
You don’t need to disappear from civilization for four hours, but don’t spend the round staring at your phone. Silence unnecessary notifications, avoid taking routine calls and resist answering email between every hole.
If you’re expecting something genuinely urgent, let the group know beforehand: “I’m waiting on one important call, so I may need to step away for a minute.”
Then be present.
In a world where nearly everyone is partially distracted nearly all the time, your full attention has become a professional advantage.
7. Pay Attention to How People Play
One of the strongest observations from the original article still holds true: Golf gives you time to observe people.
How does someone respond to a bad shot? Does she laugh and recover or become furious? Does she encourage the beginner? Follow the rules? Treat the course staff respectfully? Celebrate another person’s great shot? Become intensely competitive when nothing meaningful is at stake?
Don’t overinterpret a single round of golf as a personality assessment. But four hours with someone can tell you things a 30-minute meeting won’t.
And remember: They’re learning about you, too.
How you handle frustration, mistakes and other people may leave a bigger impression than your score.
8. You Don’t Have to Play 18 Holes
Golf has become more flexible than the traditional four-hour round. If you’re just getting started, try nine holes, a driving range, a putting clinic, a lesson with colleagues, a charity scramble, a golf-entertainment venue or a beginner women’s league.
Networking events built around golf instruction can also be a great entry point. For businesses hosting events, these alternatives may actually be more inclusive because experienced golfers and complete beginners can participate together.
You don’t need to become a “golfer” overnight. Just get comfortable around the game.
9. If You’re Hosting, Make the Course More Inclusive
If you’re the one organizing the golf outing, don’t assume everyone already knows how to play. Ask about experience levels, provide information about attire and explain whether clubs can be rented. Consider offering a beginner clinic before play and using a format such as a scramble that allows less-experienced players to participate comfortably.
Think carefully about how you create teams, too. A business golf outing should create new relationships instead of simply reinforcing existing circles.
Most importantly, don’t make golf the only way someone can access important leaders in your organization.
Golf can open a door. It shouldn’t become a gate.
If the people who play consistently receive more access to executives, clients and opportunities than those who don’t, leaders should pay attention and create other avenues for relationship-building, too.
10. Say Yes Before You Feel Completely Ready
This may be the biggest career lesson golf has to offer: You don’t have to master something before you participate in it.
Throughout their careers, women are invited into unfamiliar territory all the time. It might be a bigger job, a board position, a speaking opportunity, a difficult assignment, a new industry or simply a room where everyone else appears to know one another.
Sometimes the best response is: Yes. I’ll figure it out.
Golf can be practice for exactly that. Take the lesson. Borrow the clubs. Learn the rules. Accept the invitation. Go to the tournament.
You might discover that you love the game. You might discover that you don’t. Either way, you haven’t excluded yourself before anyone else had the chance to include you.
The 30-Minute Beginner Golf Prep
If you’ve just been invited to a golf outing and you’re panicking, you don’t need to learn the entire game overnight. Start by finding out what kind of outing it is. A scramble, for example, is much more beginner-friendly than individual stroke play.
Ask whether clubs are available to rent or borrow and check the course’s dress code before you arrive. Get there early enough to find the clubhouse, get settled and introduce yourself to your group. It’s perfectly fine to tell them you’re new.
Once you’re on the course, focus less on playing brilliantly and more on keeping pace. Watch what the other players do, ask questions when you’re unsure and remember to enjoy yourself.
Nobody is expecting you to qualify for the LPGA Tour.
The Pink Takeaway
For generations, important professional relationships have been built in places that weren’t necessarily designed with women in mind.
The answer isn’t that every woman needs to become a golfer. It’s that women shouldn’t automatically count themselves out.
If golf is part of the relationship culture in your profession, learn enough to participate. Go to the clinic. Accept the invitation. Play badly at first. Meet people, ask questions and build relationships.
And if somebody invites you to join the foursome before you feel completely ready, consider saying yes.
You don’t have to master the game to get in the game.
