Give Yourself a Break

You give your in-laws, clients, kids, and even the dog some slack when they make a mistake.

But for yourself? Not so much.

Women are roughly twice as self-critical as men, says Dr. Kristin Neff, associate professor of Human Development and Culture at the University of Texas and author of the newly released Self-Compassion:  Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind.

Why? For starters, there’s pressure (from others and ourselves) to be the best at everything we do. Plus, women boast the biological instinct to protect against perceived threats.

That’s great – to a point.

Your own constant critic can erode self-confidence – a “key factor in determining who succeeds and who does not,” explains Neff. It seems the best way to get ahead is to give yourself a break.

The good news? Women tend to be more compassionate than men, so we already know how to nurture, says Neff; we just have to give that gift to ourselves.

To retrain your inner critic, Self-Compassion.org lets you test your own degree of personal kindness and check out exercises and guided meditations. New studies suggest self-care is the new road to health – as anxiety, mood swings and depression can all stem from being too hard on ourselves. 

Bonus PINK Link: Get five easy steps for reinventing your career and your life in our online exclusive.

By Rachel Pomerance

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies
outside cannot hurt you.” African Proverb