Hey Tough Cookie, Take A Look At Yourself Before You Crumble

 Years ago I struck up a strong business alliance with a woman named Rachel Clark. She was the Senior Vice President of Marketing for a division at Sony that created international television networks. Later she would hold the same title at The CW. I traveled with her to far-flung places, built successful brands and developed a friendship that has lasted to this day.

I have been fortunate to have many great working relationships with talented women over the almost 19 years I’ve owned Big Fish. However, there have been times when things didn’t go so swimmingly.

Just last month I was enjoying a business lunch in LA with prospective clients when I noticed a disturbing dynamic happening. To my left was the head honcho – a gentleman who was open and interested in working with me. To my right was his top female executive who appeared to be threatened. “Here we go again,” I thought.

Like Rachel, some women step into their power with grace — understanding that building a posse of consultants, creative partners and employees is a winning strategy. Others go it alone and play the overworked martyr. Still others cast themselves as the tough cookie—taking aim at the weak to control everyone around them.

Do these women feel that they have to do it all themselves – that if they delegate things will go horribly wrong? Do they think that if they ask for help, they won’t be perceived as competent? Or is it that they fear that someone else may shine brighter and they’ll be seen as mediocre?

News Flash: Doing it all yourself makes you look like a worker bee, not a leader. It can give you job security, but it will only get you promoted to the mid-manager level. There they you will languish, never being truly appreciated. Overtime in stagnation, worker bees tend to get sick or downright mean.

You heard me, mean. It comes from the resentment that builds watching others get ahead who seem to not be working as hard. If this feeling is running through your veins, I suggest you get a good mentor or career coach pronto before you start negatively impacting your business and everyone around you.

Perhaps it’s not the “I’ve-got-to-do-this-all-by-myself” belief system that’s running women who are mean at work, maybe it’s just their pattern. According to Psychology Today, the majority of mean girls do grow up to be mean women. A friend of mine calls them “mean girls gone corporate.” Instead of helping one another build their careers, women sometimes do everything to destroy them.

All across this country, businesswomen complain that the weight of the world is on their shoulders. Today many working women make more money than their husbands, while still running the household. Overworked and stressed out they need help. If I’m describing you – little miss overachiever – I encourage you to soften that tough cookie exterior by aligning with people who can ease your workload and make you look like a star. After all, there’s enough meanness and martyrdom in this world… don’t you think?

Robin Fisher Roffer is a leading brand strategist and reinvention specialist. Founder and CEO of Big Fish Marketing, she is the author of Make A Name For Yourself: 8 Steps Every Woman Needs To Create A Personal Brand Strategy For Success, The Fearless Fish Out Of Water: How To Succeed When You’re The Only One Like You, and Reinventing Yourself: 10 Steps To Shifting Your Career Into High Gear. Learn more about Robin at: http://bigfishmarketing.com