How To Stop Beating Yourself Up At Work

I’ve been thinking about right and wrong, black and white, good and bad and I’m finding less and less use for these definitive terms, especially when it comes to myself. So much of my time has been wasted ruminating over how I just didn’t get it right with this client or that employee. My natural tendency is take 100% of the blame for anything that goes wrong. I find that’s what most people who own service businesses do naturally. It’s a heavy load to carry.

To let go of the blame and emerge confidently, I’ve had to forgive myself and own the idea that maybe others had a hand in causing me pain. Recently, I made an inventory of uncomfortable business moments – the powerful boss who pinned me against my drafting table when I was only 22, the client who threatened to fire me if didn’t do more work for free, the disgruntled employee who sent nasty emails, the designer who disappeared in the middle of a job. If you’ve been working as long as I have, things are bound to happen, not all of them good.

Ask yourself this, “Is what I’m obsessing about really important?” This question could save your business and your life.

I could tell you that these challenges were life lessons or that we all have a cross to bear or that giants will always block your path on the way to your destiny. But you’ve heard that stuff before and frankly, when you’re falling down the rabbit hole, knowing these truths don’t really help. What does stop me from taking a baseball bat to my psyche is stepping back and asking, “Is it really important?” In the grand scheme of things, is this little thing that’s turning me inside out worth ruining my health or stressing my family?

There’s no doubt that you’ve stood on uncertain ground during this difficult year. Most of us are striving to be good and ethical in a confusing world. You may feel you’ve done things that are unforgiveable or that others don’t deserve your forgiveness. I get it. But what I’ve found is that resentment just blocks creative energy and keeps you from achieving your dreams.

What’s standing between you and where you want to go could be the disappointment and hurt that lives deep inside of you.

This month the leaves are turning, the air is getting colder and the animals are gathering food for the winter ahead. My faith dictates that the changes in nature should mirror our changes within. Last fall, I made a commitment to forgive those that I felt had wronged me in work and in life. This year, I’m at the top of that list. I vow to hold myself accountable, but not see myself as wrong or bad, just a human being doing the best she can.

 Robin Fisher Roffer is a leading brand strategist and reinvention specialist. Founder and CEO of Big Fish Marketing, she is the author of Make A Name For Yourself: 8 Steps Every Woman Needs To Create A Personal Brand Strategy For Success, The Fearless Fish Out Of Water: How To Succeed When You’re The Only One Like You, and Reinventing Yourself: 10 Steps To Shifting Your Career Into High Gear. Learn more about Robin at: http://bigfishmarketing.com