I Can't Do the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

Work was going great! I had just pulled together a cross-functional team to meet in St. Louis to reinvent a key strategy for the company. I had executive partners all signed up to be sponsors, and we’d just picked a key date three weeks out to kick off the strategy with the team. I invited everyone so they could make their travel arrangements. Woohoo! I was so excited, and so was everyone else.

The next day, I opened my e-mail and there was an invitation from our chief operating officer to join him with other officers at the amazing Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony in New York City. Just as I was getting ready to celebrate, I realized the date of the event was exactly the same date as the kickoff meeting in St. Louis. Ugh!

Immediately I scrambled to work with the airlines to see if there was any way I could hit the event and then fly an all-nighter to St. Louis. No flights like that existed. I was completely bummed. So I quickly settled my excitement over the invitation and realized I would not be attending the event.

A few days later, I was talking to my good friend and colleague about the St. Louis strategy kickoff. Unexpectedly he mentioned he had gotten invited to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony too. I responded, “Yeah, me too. But we can’t go, Shawn. We have all the teams coming to St. Louis for our kickoff.” Shawn quickly responded, “What?! Julie, we are going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!”

I took him through the tirade of “We already committed and I checked all the flights and it’s impossible.” I was completely surprised when he calmly cut me off and told me that by not going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event, I was disrespecting our COO’s invitation and that I was missing the opportunity to get different leaders to step up in St. Louis. I was stumped and completely agreed. I couldn’t believe that I’d never thought of it that way. I had been so busy thinking about my responsibility to the work and to the team that I was blind to the responsibility of representing the company and my perspective by networking.

I’ve thought about this a lot, and after discussing it with other men and women, I’ve found that 99 percent of other women would have thought of this in the same way I initially did, and 99 percent of men would have thought of it just like my partner Shawn did. When I started to dig into why, it was clear to me that this is one of the cultural differences between men and women – and one more reason why women are not reaching the same heights as men at the same rate.

Women perceive networking, in general, as a nice-to-do as opposed to a strategic must-do. Events like the one at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame help you bond with others, let your hair down (professionally) and build relationships – relationships with people who can learn what you bring to the table personally and professionally, ask for your insight (because they actually know better about what you can offer) and even think about you for whatever the next new business opportunity might be.

The most puzzling thing about my first (and automatic) reaction was that I didn’t even think twice about my “must go to St. Louis” position as the only option once the airfare options dried up. That’s the mindset coming from me – someone who isn’t a wallflower at all and actually loves networking (let alone empowering others to be stronger leaders). I love building relationships and linking with others to build new business together. Yet I fell into the trap myself. Ladies, be very aware of our tendency toward responsibility to “get the job done” vs. taking the time to network. Just because it’s fun doesn’t mean it’s not business. It’s no different for a golfing outing, boating dinner cruise, charity event or a great black tie affair like this one. Go! Go! And go! It is your responsibility to go!

By Julie Gilbert