Leadership Lessons from Men Behaving Badly

An epidemic of media reports about alleged sexual assault, infidelity and campaign fund misappropriation by powerful men have flooded the news lately. Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who may well be skirting accusations of sexual assault levied by a New York hotel maid, is now facing new charges from two women in Europe who allege that he raped them.  California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted to fathering the child of his family housekeeper, prompting his prominent and successful wife to file for divorce. Anthony Weiner, after texting photos of himself en déshabillé, was forced by media and political pressure to resign, while his wife, pregnant with their first child, weathers the humiliation of his actions. The jury is still out on John Edwards who is currently facing criminal charges for funneling campaign funds to support his then-pregnant mistress–and did so while running for the highest political office in the land. I’m beginning to wonder what’s in the Kool-Aid these leaders and other like them are drinking. And what can women in the workplace learn from their failures? Here are some lessons I’ve gleaned from watching these men, and some tips for overcoming the intoxication of power:

Positional Power is Like a 5-Martini Lunch:

You start out feeling warm and glowing with the first few sips. The smooth perfectly chilled liquid of the first drink goes down easily. That leads you to convince yourself that it’s ok to order another martini, after all, you deserve it for working so hard at the office. Before you know it, you start thinking you’re invincible.

Achieving a high level position over which you impact the fate of others is heady, seductive and dangerous stuff. The adoration you receive, the increased income, the well-appointed corner office, the bonus, the stock options and the complimentary press releases written to make you look like a rock star can collectively put you into ego overload. Power is intoxicating and thus requires perspective. The fundamental framework of leadership is anchored by the understanding that leaders are held to a higher standard and expected to embody the values their organization espouses. No matter how clever you think you are, if you’re a leader, other eyes are watching, waiting and assessing you– both personally and professionally. And the eyes are everywhere– from the person in the highest position to the entry-level employee. I’ve seen more than one leader’s poor behavior exposed by a secretary or stock room clerk, and with the advent of social media, there is little that can’t be publically broadcast in nanoseconds.

Real Power Comes from Within:

True power is constructed from a base of self-knowledge and self-actualization. If you want to lead successfully it will take more than devotion to a course of study to build skills. You will need to do the difficult, sometimes gut-wrenching courageous examination of yourself—honestly assessing your strengths, vulnerabilities, prejudices and biases. Without a deep understanding of the strengths you have available to leverage, you’ll be unable to overcome the vulnerabilities of your own personality and the life experiences that have shaped you. As a result, you may likely find yourself looking for ways to fill the gaps within yourself through inappropriate rather than constructive means. Few people would argue about the economic savvy of Strauss-Kahn or the political potential of Andrew Weiner, yet the (alleged and real) actions of these two men have potentially compromised their careers, as well as the lives of their families and the women they involved.

Respect is a Pre-requisite for Leadership:

If you hold a position of power (and even if you don’t) working effectively with others requires demonstrating respect and demanding it in return. That means working from a place of candor and honesty with co-workers. It means being pure in your motives, rather than self-serving. It means accepting accountability for your actions and recognizing that what you do reflects on everyone in your position and in your organization. The priapic situations surrounding Schwarzenegger and Edwards certainly call respect into question. How many lies were told to staff to cover up extra-marital affairs? How much respect was shown by their actions for the integrity of the office they held or aspired to?

Breaking the Code of Silence Begins with You:

Rising to the top as woman in any high-powered organization is no easy feat. The route is strewn with land mines, detours, and tortuous twists and turns that can sometimes reveal the seedier side of human interactions. As women leaders, we have the responsibility to forge the way for others and create a culture of appreciation and respect for women in the work environment. It requires that we step forward and become the voice for those less powerful and break the Code of Silence surrounding women in the organization who have been mistreated by co-workers or bosses. It requires that we demand that all women are valued in the workplace or run the risk that none of us will ever be wholly respected for our contributions. In doing so, we honor the women who swung the first scythe that cut through the jungle of corporate leadership to create a path that we could follow.

Game on, Ladies. Game on.

Alaina Love, President of Purpose Linked Consulting (PLC) is an internationally recognized leadership expert and speaker who consults with corporations and government organizations around the world. She is co-author of Click here to The Purpose Linked Organization: How Passionate Leaders Inspire Winning Teams and Great Results (McGraw-Hill, 2009)

The book identifies and explores the impact of the ‘Passion Archetypes’ of great leaders, provides a process for leaders to maximize the individual passions on their teams, and offers free access to The Passion Profiler™ online tool, where readers can discover their own passions and how to apply them to their roles at work.

To find out more about Alaina’s work on leadership, passion and employee engagement check out Click here to Purpose Linked Consulting’s website.