Lower the Bar; Raise the Roof

I’m sipping a martini at my favorite hotspot with one of my favorite girlfriends. She’s a stressed out mess. “I’m worn out, Randy,” she wails, “and things a slipping through the cracks.” My friend is a successful businesswoman, a devoted wife, and a loving mother.

“I don’t know how you do it all.” I sympathize.

“I don’t,” she replied. “I have to slight something or someone, and it’s usually me.”

My friend’s story is a common one among my women friends. I wonder if it’s time to lower the bar. Lower the bar? Yep.

We’re all striving for success, but how high is that bar? “Unreachable” says Cheri Britton, Kick “But” motivational speaker and author of BOOM Thinking: The Gutsy Guide to Breaking Out of Old Mindsets.

“Face it, we’re not superwomen. In fact, the whole belief that we should be is crap,” she says.

Britton has identified three myths about perfection:

Myth One: Perfection equals happiness.

Myth Two: Other people want you to be perfect.

Myth Three: Perfection is both an appropriate and achievable goal.

Four of her favorite tips for lowering the bar are:

Tip One: Quit comparing.

Tip Two: Can the negative talk.

Tip Three: Have compassion for yourself.

Tip Four: Crack up instead of cracking down.

Ironically, Britton has found that by lowering the bar you can actually achieve more. A lot can be said for a relaxed, less-critical state of mind.


By Randy Siegel