Putting The Past In The Past

Last week was a tough one. I did all the right actions in my business and had the same old reactions.

Instead of people pleasing and kowtowing to my client, I stood up for my ideas. Instead of meekly waiting for my client to tell me what they thought of a new logo concept, I boldly told them why the change would be good for their business. Instead of playing an agonizing waiting game to receive next steps on a project, I outlined a winning strategy.

These were all the moves of a winner. Yet as I took each bold step, I began to doubt myself and question every action. Why? Because everything I did felt unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

I had vowed to myself to own the place I had earned in the business world. I was stepping into my power knowing that when I’m hired for a project it’s because my clients want one of the world’s leading brand strategists to guide them to a successful outcome, not be a yes person.
In striving to show up differently, I came face-to-face with my past. I was still the product of an alcoholic mother and a demanding WWII ex-Marine. Pleasing people and comparing myself to what others thought of me was the script of my childhood. It was what I did to survive and fit into the world.

So, did my fish out of water feeling cause me to drift back into these old patterns that no longer served me? No, but oh was it tempting! As a mature professional, I had to rewrite that script in a way that served me first, and in turn served my clients. I had to discipline myself to not waver and have faith in the fact that I was awakening to my true nature.

It’s not always easy to stay on a path to achieving your highest potential – especially if you’ve had a difficult childhood or a challenging set of circumstances that have made you question your own value. My knee jerk reaction to any difficult situation is to feel I’m not good enough. When I go there, I start to count my blessings for all that I have and what I’ve accomplished. That’s because the stories we tell ourselves are what others will believe. So it’s critical to shift into gratitude when you are questioning your self worth.

The next time you’re struggling, try to take a step back and observe yourself. Whether you’re obsessing or wallowing, watch how you get stuck between who you were and who you want to be. I think you’ll find that you can’t live in those two worlds at once.

Case in point, at the end of last week, I went to see one of my business coaches. I wanted her to make me feel better about the positive choices I had made (because I felt so lousy). She told me that MY MIND was the only thing standing between where I am today and where I want to go. If I would just let go and have fun — trusting in my process and product, everything positive would flow to me. So that’s what I did and that’s exactly what happened. Who knew!

Robin Fisher Roffer is a leading brand strategist and reinvention specialist. Founder and CEO of Big Fish Marketing, she is the author of Make A Name For Yourself: 8 Steps Every Woman Needs To Create A Personal Brand Strategy For Success, The Fearless Fish Out Of Water: How To Succeed When You’re The Only One Like You, and Reinventing Yourself: 10 Steps To Shifting Your Career Into High Gear. Learn more about Robin at: http://bigfishmarketing.com