Success Do's and Don'ts

I had the chance to meet some smart students during a talk this week at Duke University, and I can report that our future is in the hands of very capable young women. A couple of them, Dana Rosenberg and Daniela Rausnitz, started the Duke Association for Business-Oriented Women, the group that invited me to speak.

The women students in the group realize what I didn’t at that age – that learning about business will benefit a woman regardless of the career she chooses. They also realize, earlier than I did, that they’ll need to define themselves or risk being defined by peers, parents and professors.

And we talked about how defining success is even more important than achieving it. (You can’t reach your goal if you don’t know where you’re going.) For PINK, “success” has more to do with authenticity and doing what you love than it does with pay, position and power – although all that is nice too! (Aristotle said, “Where your unique talents and the needs of the world intersect, therein lies your vocation.”)

Once they’ve figured that out, they’ll need to overcome persistent gender barriers – a growing pay gap and declining numbers of women in line for the jobs that lead to the corner office.

In that vein, I shared six success Do’s and Don’ts, and they asked me to post them online, so here goes.

DO ask for what you want. If you don’t ask – for a raise, an opportunity, better health, a better relationship – you won’t get it. And you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. Besides, as we say at PINK, “asking is free.”

DON’T take “no” for an answer. Most of the very influential women featured on PINK’s covers (especially in the early days) declined at first to be interviewed. But we convinced them that PINK was a good bet, and they have all thanked us for the incredible responses they got from the publicity. Another example: Our recent marketing position ad on Career Builder generated 400 résumés in 24 hours. But we offered the job to a young woman who showed up and insisted on working at PINK (even for free) so she could show us her stuff. She was the only one who wouldn’t take no for an answer. That’s the person I want to hire.

DO tap into your network. Each of us has a bigger network than we realize. I’ll bet if there’s someone you want to connect with, if you don’t know her, you probably know someone who does. Too often women don’t connect with the network they have when it comes to business.

DON’T miss a chance to help another woman. When one of us succeeds, all of us succeed a little bit more. Besides, what goes around comes around.

DO focus on relationships. I wish I had been more politically and socially savvy early in my career. Get to know those you work for. It makes work more fun, and if your boss cares about you (and thinks you care about her), you may get promoted sooner.

DON’T be afraid to take action. This is what separates those who win from those who don’t. It’s one thing to have a good idea. It’s quite another to actually act on it! (After explaining this, I asked the students if they wanted one of our way-cool PINK T-shirts. They all just sat there, very politely raising their hands. Finally, one woman got up out of her chair and took the shirt! I’m betting on her.

By Cynthia Good