Only about 19% of customers report trusting salespeople. And roughly half of Americans believe people, in general, are less trustworthy than they used to be.
I am sad, not surprised, and also genuinely excited for you — because the bar is apparently the floor, and women who know how to build real trust are about to stand out without even trying that hard.
Trust is not a personality trait. You don’t just have it or not have it. It’s a set of habits, and habits can be built. Whether you’re in a boardroom, a job interview, a client meeting, or a networking event you weren’t sure you even wanted to attend, these five things will change how people experience you.
1. Keep the Focus on THEM
Not sure how to break this to you, but people are generally most interested in themselves. Their goals. Their problems. Whether you actually understand what they’re dealing with. The fastest path to trust in any professional relationship is to make the conversation about the other person before you make it about you.
We know, we know — it really does seem like mentioning you also have season tickets, or your kids play the same sport, would make you instant allies and obviously trustworthy. It could! It’s just a lot safer to lead with curiosity before you lead with common ground. Ask before you tell. Get genuinely interested in what they’re navigating before you start positioning yourself as anyone’s solution.
A simple challenge: count how many times you say the word “I” in your next important conversation. Then try the same conversation with half as many. The difference in how people respond will be immediate and a little humbling. Everyone wins from that experiment.
2. Use Positive Language
Words matter — like, a lot. The language you choose signals your mindset, your confidence, and your character before your resume, your title, or your handshake does.
Positive language isn’t about being relentlessly upbeat or pretending hard things aren’t hard. It’s about framing what IS possible instead of what isn’t. Think: “you won’t fail the test” versus “you can walk out knowing you aced it.” The information is the same. The feeling the other person carries with them is completely different.
In leadership and business, this also means staying out of gossip, complaint spirals, or public venting about colleagues and clients. There’s a 50% chance it won’t come back to bite you. There’s a 0% chance it will if you stay out of it altogether. We like those odds. The women with the strongest professional reputations are almost always the ones known for what they build up, not what they tear down — and that reputation travels faster than anything you could post online.
3. Show Up with Purpose
The more purposeful you can be, the more trust and loyalty you’re likely to earn. This sounds simple and it is, which is why so few people actually do it.
If you have a Zoom call to discuss someone’s Q3 strategy, skipping the opener about their dog’s Instagram account isn’t rude — it’s respectful. You might think you’re building rapport by going personal first; what you’re sometimes actually doing is watering down your presence and eating into time that everyone in the meeting will want back. Try being mindful of everyone’s time. That includes yours.
This doesn’t mean you have to be stiff or scripted. It means you’ve spent five minutes thinking about what matters to this specific person before you show up, and you bring that awareness into the room instead of just hoping connection happens by accident. It usually doesn’t.
4. Use Their Name
Dale Carnegie wrote that a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language to that person. Nearly a century later, the neuroscience agrees with him. Hearing your own name activates something specific in the brain. People feel more seen, more valued, and more engaged in a conversation when you use it.
Practice this everywhere — not just in the meetings that feel high-stakes. Peep the name tag of whoever hands you your coffee and use it when you say thank you. Watch them light up. Use the name of the new colleague you just met instead of waiting until the third or fourth time it comes up. Make it a low-pressure habit so it becomes effortless when the pressure is actually high.
If you’ve historically been someone who forgets names the second after hearing them, decide right now that you’re going to be someone who doesn’t. Repeat it back when you’re introduced. Write it down the moment you can. The effort signals that you think the person in front of you matters — and that impression sticks around a lot longer than you’d expect.
5. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
Be genuinely interested in what the other person is saying. Not performing interest while mentally drafting your next point — actually following where they’re taking the conversation, staying curious, and resisting the urge to jump in the moment there’s a pause.
The temptation, especially for fast-processing high-achievers, is to guide a conversation toward where you think it needs to go. But some of the most important things people say are said in the pauses, and you’ll miss them entirely if you’re already three sentences ahead in your head.
The women known as exceptional leaders, collaborators, and connectors are almost always the ones who make you feel like the most important person in the room when you’re talking to them. That’s not luck. It’s a discipline. And if you walk away from a conversation without being able to help someone directly, a genuinely positive and curious experience will make them far more likely to send people your way anyway. Everyone wins.
Trust doesn’t happen all at once — it’s built across dozens of small moments where you showed up focused, chose your words with care, and made someone feel like they mattered. Start with one of these five this week. You already know which one needs the most work.
By Courtney Talley, Chief Brand Officer, The Salesgirls
Courtney Talley is the Chief Brand Officer of The Salesgirls, one of the most recognized and trusted female education brands in the country. As a Georgia native and mom of three, Courtney believes hard work can be fun, the world is better when women make money, and that sales is the skill that compresses time. The mission is simple: leave women feeling inspired, equipped, and entertained — ideally all three at once.
