Assertiveness or Aggression: Where to Draw the Line?

Feel like co-workers don’t value your opinion? Tired of putting in 70-hour weeks … and others taking credit for your hard work?

Don’t wait until dissatisfaction reaches a boiling point.

Performance reviews are right around the corner and it’s time to raise your concerns – the right way.

“Challenge is to come off as assertive rather than aggressive,” says Brigid Siegel, partner at Polachi Access Executive Search. “Nobody appreciates a bully, stubbornness or conflict based communication or behavior. It makes the team and environment less productive and energetic.”

Her advice?

Resist the urge to lay it on too thick.

“The riskiest times to push an agenda or cross the line from positive assertiveness to mildly aggressive are during reviews or compensation package negotiations,” says Siegel.

But, don’t let that deter you.

Such negotiations are the best and most critical times to make concerns known. Siegel suggests choosing and delivering words wisely.

She warns against pointing out negative attributes of co-workers to enhance your own reputation.

“It is never a wise long term strategy. Asking for more money, benefits or other perks because somebody else has them does not add value to your skill set. That can backfire and make you look like a whiner or non-team player,” says Siegel.

Keep the focus where it should be – on your value and what you want.

“Everyone wants a coworker, supervisor or colleague to be clear, concise and communicate effectively,” adds Siegel.

That’s a confidence and morale booster for all.

Bonus PINK Link: Want to network like a man? Here’s more.

Where do you draw the line between assertiveness and aggression?

By Sonya Washington

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” Coco Chanel