Do They Like You?

Who can forget Sally Field’s 1985 “You like me, right now, you like me!” Academy Award acceptance speech?

But striving to be liked won’t lead to advancement at work.

Top women execs say it’s time to get over the huge need to be liked at work – and start aiming for respect instead.

“Get comfortable that not everyone will like you!” said Sheila Stanziale, president of Diageo-Guinness USA, at a recent Little PINK Book event.

Some work decisions won’t please everyone, but professionals say women should stick with their convictions over winning the office popularity contest.

Setting precedents like staying with projects to completion and following opinions with evidence will help build reliability.

Experts also suggest creating clear boundaries between yourself and your subordinates to avoid the nurturer role. Being the person others come to with work and home problems does not promote effective leadership.

The Metis Group’s Libby Kavoulakis advises pushing back against the ‘nice’by responding to the first instance of disrespect.

Make a direct statement to confront the person’s rudeness in a moderate tone and (hopefully) the perception will be dropped.

Striving for respect doesn’t have to result in being cold or mean. Playing into office gossip and tearing down others — especially women — won’t get you far.

Instead, opt for inclusiveness: clearly state your opinions, but let others know you understand and care about theirs as well.

Bonus PINK Link: What can you learn from Millennials to help you succeed at work? Find out here.

Is it still important to you to be ‘liked’ at work? and let us know.

By Julia Turner

“You are not in business to be popular.” Kirstie Alley