How Nice is Too Nice?

Compassion and understanding are great traits, but they could keep you from landing the job you want or being promoted. That’s according to a recent study showing that certain words and identifiers may automatically land your application in the “Don’t Hire” pile.

Many coaches say women can better leverage their unprecedented presence in the workplace by realizing how they’re being identified and viewed at work.

Recommendation letters that use words like “compassionate” over “driven” or “poised” instead of “confident” cast women in an emotion-driven, nurturing light which some employers may not care for.

“For industries where being empathetic or nurturing isn’t part of the job description, leave them out,” author and career coach Hallie Crawford tells PINK. She adds that, if you do include these adjectives, make sure you mention tangible skills, education and experience too, so employers will get the full picture.

Sometimes, work behaviors viewed as “nice,” may also be seen as “pushover,” warns Crawford. If you work without a break, hesitate to disagree with a coworker’s opinion or constantly feel the need to explain yourself, you may be open to such judgment, says Dr. Lois P. Frankel, author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101.

“Women need to consider their work personae and strike a balance between assertive and direct,” suggests Crawford. Her advice? “Think of women you admire and focus on the qualities they have that you’d like to emulate.”

Bonus PINK Link: Find out if kindness pays at work.

By Aleta Watson

“I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but
what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession.”  Hillary Rodham Clinton