Kicking and Screaming

When you’re a mom to a tantrum-throwing toddler or a lazy teenager, it can feel like the real workday begins when you get back home.

But, parenting coach Nancy Rose’s approach to discipline could save you headaches and heartache and, not to mention, help you better lead at work.

With all the parenting theories out there, Rose was struck that experts were ignoring one basic fact. Acceptance of who we are is a fundamental human need.

“In modern parenting, we have it all backwards,” she says. Parents try to change their children’s behaviors and then reward them with acceptance.

Rose’s philosophy promotes leading with acceptance first – touting the CoreSelf, nine inborn traits that shape personalities, such as activity level, intensity, and optimism.

You evaluate your own traits and then compare with your child to find where you’re mismatched – and then, learn to accept these differences.

She learned to practice what she preached firsthand, as her young son Jordan had a very intense personality, very high in persistence and low in adaptability.

“He couldn’t just go with the flow,” she tells PINK. “Highly active, you know, he was just all over the place.”

As a parent, she was familiar with public outbursts, but handled them by leading with acceptance. She would first tell Jordan how much she loved his intensity; and then she let him know that it was not okay for him to have this kind of outburst in Target. She ended by reminding him that she was ready to listen to him speak – respectfully.

“If a parent starts with acceptance, it makes their leadership very efficient,” Rose said.

Efficiency, every working mom’s goal, can be achieved because children want to please their parents once they feel accepted, Rose believes.

This is also true in the workplace, where understanding and acceptance opens lines of communication – in turn, creating a motivating environment where the leadership is respected.

Home is where the heart is and it’s also where our character is tested most. The great thing about that is we can take the leadership skills we develop as parents back to work.

Working moms may get less sleep but they also get some of the best leadership training out there.

Has being mother helped you become a better leader? Tell us how!

BONUS PINK Link: Your reputation is your currency. Here’s what you should be doing to build yours.

By Alison Loughman

“I consider myself a crayon … I might not be your favorite color, but one day you’re going to need me to complete your picture.” Lauryn Hill