Missed Milestones

You’ve hit that age – 30, 35, 40 – and you panic.

Friends are getting married and having babies. From the looks of Facebook, it seems like everyone from high school has a hotter job than you – even that girl who spent more time behind bleachers than in class.

When life doesn’t look like you thought it would by now, it’s easy to become doubtful and discouraged.

A study by Europe’s Institute of Leadership and Management found men surveyed across all age groups demonstrated higher levels of confidence than women, 70 percent to 50 percent.

How to refocus and surge ahead?

Stop comparing yourself to others. “If someone is doing something that you admire, view it as a goal – not like you’re in the deficit,” says Lynn Berger, career coach and counselor.

“There’s always going to be someone better than you. You can use that to either motivate or doubt yourself.”

Always keep your goals at the forefront. “Everyone is different, and you have to find ways to come back to yourself and what is important to you,” Berger remarks.

Milestones that aren’t current goals can trigger self-doubt, too. Having a baby might not be on your radar, but expecting women make you wonder, “Wow, should I be thinking about that?”

Berger calls this noise.

“Noise gets people off their mission,” Berger says. “Step back and review your goals so that things don’t distract you.”

Find something to gain from goals that you haven’t achieved yet. Didn’t get promoted? Talk to your boss. You may be in the running for a position in the works. Perceptions aren’t always reality.

Bonus PINK Link: How to Create Your Blue Ocean.

How do you deal with missed milestones?

By Sarah Grace Alexander

“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” Unknown