At What Cost? May 22, 2013Expert BlogsOff

The most amazing and beautiful experience a woman can have is to become pregnant. The miracle and initial flutter of a little person growing inside of you is profound and indescribable… something neither words nor feelings can adequately express. The amazement and wonder of the mere ability for a woman’s body to, in an instant, turn from years of routine activity into a manufacturing plant is astonishing. A manufacturing plant – where each cell is formed to create 10 little fingers, 10 little toes, heart valves, lungs, kidneys, a brain, little face and a unique personality – that is nearly impossible to comprehend.


In the eyes of such a beautiful gift, why are so many women forced to ask themselves a question that arises for years, at what cost? Not hard costs in terms of the hospitals, doctors’ visits or even saving for college. But costs that are much bigger… including fulfillment and even identity. The questions are unspoken. They’re outrageous. And the questions affect women from all countries, communities, and education levels. What will this cost me? Why in a world where women spend 70% of all consumer dollars worldwide, control over 50% of the wealth in the U.S., get more advanced education than men by 60% and many other metrics? Why isn’t this question one that company executives are asking themselves deliberately and seeking strategically to get the voices of women, specifically mothers in their strategy meetings? At what cost is that to company growth each and every day?



At what cost? The question reminds me of being a 25-year-old professional working full-time at a prestigious firm with one college degree completed and another in the works with another to follow. A CPA successfully working toward the holy grail of the industry… partner.



At the time, I quickly realized that, in order to be as successful as my male counterparts, I would have to make a decision they never had to consider. A decision based upon unwritten expectations of what would happen should I decide, like millions of others, to have a child. 

I discussed the decision with no one. Actions I witnessed all around me made it clear my assumption was not imagined. A decision to become a mommy would evaporate future career opportunities into thin air.



Foregoing a miracle… a gift… was, in my mind, the only answer. I’d seen it. I watched women cinch their expanding bellies with snug nylons and bigger suit coats to postpone the inevitable moment when they’d have to tell others about the miracle forming inside of them. And, why? Because without any conversations with them, committee meetings or even rationale, they were immediately thereafter removed from their high-profile clients never to return again. They were working on projects left for interns and those “not on the partner track.” Names mysteriously disappeared from lists of those up for big promotions. People said they (moms) weren’t “as committed” as those without children. They were dealt the lowest raises. And sadly, the excuses were generally whispers… powerful whispers: “we saw the team needed refreshing,” or “we needed to add new talent” or “it’s a big job!”



In abiding by unwritten and unspoken expectations, the best talent was either removed or immobilized, despite working extra hours and delivering more results (literally in the middle of the night to avoid more scrutiny) – absolutely outrageous. It was the most clear and concise invisible policy that existed in every company I worked for or in as a consultant.


One might think times have changed, but they haven’t. Here we are, in 2010, and it’s the same. Despite being excited beyond words, unable to sleep due to the thrill of what is happening and even being my own boss (albeit with rigorous expectations), I too have had the same negative internal discussions… will the team question my commitment and work focus? What will they think?



Were the concerns simply figments of my imagination? No. A manifestation of my insecurities? Maybe. A reality and guilt many face thanks to a culture questioning a woman’s ability to balance personal and professional lives? Very true. Women are conditioned to think this way… after all, for years we’ve heard the whispers… and seen the outcomes.



Thankfully, for me, excitement about the God-given miracle forming in my body helped me force the discouraging thoughts from my head. And that same excitement has filled me with a new mission: helping other women flip the “at what cost?” question… to one asking the cost of your decision on your personal legacy, life and fulfillment. I’ve quickly learned that the regret, heartache, guilt and desire for some women to be mommies is far greater than some childish ignorant comments from men and women who haven’t read the news today. News that makes it clear that women, especially mothers, OWN global markets in every single industry. Frankly, the experience and insight of being a mom dramatically enhances a woman’s worth at any boardroom table, strategy or business discussion. Companies should instead place ads saying “Hiring: Especially Pregnant or Already Mommies” because the power of their voices drives growth for all in business. It’s been proven by WOLF and continues to be proven every single day.



I know it may seem like a wild idea. But, to my sheer excitement, shock, and deep emotion, a few weeks ago, I sat across the table from an inspiring senior executive from a Fortune 100 U.S. company who looked at me and said with great enthusiasm, “Julie, you are going to be a mother! You will now know the essence of being a mother and can inspire and relate to other mothers, our primary customer. Your voice will now include the essence so needed in the world and in business. As a mom, you will be able to relate and inspire even more.” I couldn’t believe my ears and fought back more than 17 years of emotion! I turned to my partner sitting next to me and saw his strong affirming head shake in agreement.



I can barely explain the emotion that poured from me when I had a chance to digest this conversation… I felt the depth of more than 17 years of frustration over watching woman after woman have to defend herself and her career in the midst of what should have been a company wide celebration of her pregnancy. And, I am thrilled to say, this pain buried for so many years has transformed into an incredible pursuit. A pursuit to search and mobilize other companies and leaders who understand and see the possibilities: women are your customer!



Giving birth is a miracle, an unbelievable gift that I still struggle to comprehend. I want a world where no woman anywhere asks herself quietly, “at what cost?” or rationalizes when she should share the news or with whom to limit potential impact to her career or financial wellbeing. Instead, I am in pursuit of a new culture where women shout their new little life inside as soon as they possibly can because they know they now bring even more to the business table!



This world is within our grasp! And it is in our grasp TODAY not tomorrow! Join me in this pursuit, encourage women everywhere, step in and stand up for a woman’s voice not represented in strategy rooms and boardrooms. “Where are the women and, especially, where are the mothers in this discussion?” It all starts there!

By Julie Gilbert

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