Feeling Like A Fish Out Of Water? May 22, 2013Expert BlogsOff

Lady Gaga has got it right when she sings, “Baby, you were born this way.” I wrote a book titled, The Fearless Fish Out Of Water last year that is the work bible for anyone who feels like they look, act or think differently. And with Lady Gaga’s battle cry for self-acceptance, I feel its time has come.

To gather material for the book, I conducted interviews with dozens of successful professionals who have felt like a fish out of water. One by one they built a case for standing out and confirmed my premise that conformity is not distinguishing. They revealed that people at the top of their game shine a light on their uniqueness and live their lives with conviction. Here’s how you can you can make a splash by following their lead.

STEP 1: Go Fishing for the Real You

The first step is to peel away the layers you’ve piled on in your attempts to fit in. No matter your color, cultural background, or way of seeing the world, it’s about becoming comfortable in your own skin and accepting yourself without apology.

STEP 2: Use Your Differences as a Lure

When you are different, people take a second look at you. You’re intriguing. You bring the possibility for change. You inspire curiosity. You attract attention. Step 2 encourages you to stand out in a positive way.

STEP 3: Find a Few Fish Like You

Discover who, when, and what you find comfort in so you can anchor yourself in your own uniqueness. This step is about seeking other people like you – yes, they do exist and leading the way for them to become accepted. Think about Lady Gaga inspiring her fans, which she calls her “little monsters” or Mr. Shuster in the hit show Glee helping his outcast students feel loved.

STEP 4: Swim in Their Ocean Your Way

This step asks you to embrace your company’s culture without getting lost in it. Focus on the people and values that resonate with you and don’t buy into the rest.

STEP 5: Put Yourself Out on the Line

Those who are different are perfectly positioned to make a difference. It’s time to discover that you can create change and be an inspiration because you don’t blend in. Find your cause and lead the charge!

STEP 6: Evolve by Casting a Wide Net

The way to live deeply is to keep reinventing yourself, changing with the times while holding on to the essential you. Step 6 towards becoming a fearless fish is about staying true to the essence of who you are, and then recasting it to feel brand new.

STEP 7: Reel in Your Unique Power

Overcome any obstacles that get in your way by practicing your fish out of water ABCs: action, belief, and courage. Muster the courage to go on by remembering a time when you triumphed, hold that belief in yourself and take action.

These are the steps that changed my life. I started out as a follower – a motherless daughter seeking approval – but I turned it all around and became a leader. I moved to the South and took on the role of president of the only Jewish sorority at the University of Alabama; later I swam against the tide to create groundbreaking campaigns and started my own business in a male-dominated industry. With each challenge I could see what I was made of and eventually broke though my feelings of isolation and discomfort. By following these very same steps you can overcome that nagging desire to conform and free yourself to live your true purpose.

Robin Fisher Roffer is a leading brand strategist and reinvention specialist. Founder and CEO of Big Fish Marketing, she is the author of Make A Name For Yourself: 8 Steps Every Woman Needs To Create A Personal Brand Strategy For Success, The Fearless Fish Out Of Water: How To Succeed When You’re The Only One Like You, and Reinventing Yourself: 10 Steps To Shifting Your Career Into High Gear. Learn more about Robin at: http://bigfishmarketing.com

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