“Helicopter Parent” or Consummate Networker? May 22, 2013Expert BlogsOff

Driving to a client meeting my colleague, Mona (fictitious name) complained about an email she had received. Sally (fictitious name) had emailed Mona asking if she would be willing to talk with her daughter (a recent college grad) about career options in HR.

“Another ‘helicopter parent,'” Mona complained. “Why doesn’t she make her daughter do the work?”

I had a wholly different take on the request – and told her so. As the parent of a son, I’ve been able to see how strongly and actively the men in his life mentor him, make connections and open opportunities. His jobs since college have happened because of men who have mentored him. They think nothing of this – in fact, they take pride in being able to help him. Granted, none of them are his dad, but since he was young they’ve often stood “in loco parentis.” And this something that is part of men’s culture in business. As Gail Evans has written, “… guys mentor young men all the time. We all know who the boss’ favorite is, and that he’ll do anything he can for him. In fact, it’s considered somewhat unusual if the boss doesn’t have a protege.” (Happily, some men also mentor women – for recent evidence see the May 11, BusinessWeek article about succession and former Dupont CEO Charles Holliday’s mentoring of current CEO, Ellen Kullman.)

Recently a colleague asked me on behalf of Dyanne (fictitious name) if, through my contacts at a level 1 trauma center, I could help Dyanne’s son get an internship for his EMT program. I thought it was smart of Dyanne to make this Courageous Ask™… and for my colleague to “Think and Link™” Dyanne to me. Yesterday I happily sent the son an email from the manager who sets up the internships and wished the son well.

So, are Dyanne and Sally “helicopter parents” inappropriately hovering over their children or are they consummate networkers? Obviously, I think the latter and that Mona’s negative response to Sally’s overture was unfortunate. As I’ve written before, each time we help someone we make a contribution to our bank of good will and create the opportunity to ask for assistance in the future. In this reciprocity lies the power of networking.

Network ON!
By Susan Colantuono

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