The Strong Black Woman Icon May 22, 2013Expert BlogsOff

Over the past six months I have engaged in many conversations with women regarding our current economic climate. Many of these conversations were filled with doubt, worry, fear and gratefully laughter, support and encouragement. I must admit well over three fourths of these conversations were with women of color yet regardless of who I was conversing with the essence of the conversation was the same. Women were concerned about the vitality and sustainability of either their businesses, families, jobs and careers.

Honestly, the conversations with women of color were obviously all too familiar to what I used to hear my aunts, grandmother and mother talk about back in their day and even today. I am so fortunate to still have my grandmother and mother with me. As I reflect on those conversations, I hear echoes of grandma’s voice saying “you are a strong black women, you can do anything.” I hear whispers of my aunts and mother saying “you know we know how to survive, we ain’t got no choice.” I am then flooded with memories and conversations I have had with close friends where we have boldly spoke about the strong black woman and how we are use to, accustomed to, expected to; live up to this iconic superwoman. Many of us (Black Women) believe this, are proud of this and do just that; eat, sleep, breath and live the “strong black woman” life.

For generations and even today we were taught to get it done, make something happen, handle your business and create something out of nothing. My mom calls it stealing from Peter to pay Paul. Our faith is a tremendous force in our lives and historically that is all our women (Black Women) had; the belief that if we hold on, pray and give the glory to our God we will breakthrough, we will overcome, we will see joy cometh in morning. In fact, I don’t know anything but make it happen, get it done, handle your business. It is embedded in the core of who I am and I bet in many other Black Women. I share this because as we are in the midst of such an economic crisis I have posed the question to many women I know “is this crisis affecting women of color, in particular Black women any differently?” 9 out of 10 times I get the answers already shared above. More specifically I get, “we’ve been struggling all our lives, this economic situation isn’t anything new” or “yes, I am struggling but you know we know how to get through, we’ve been doing this a long time.” We are such resilient and resourceful women as we have been doing this for generations. This bittersweet iconic legacy is in our genes – it can be both an asset and a limitation unfortunately. The sweet side of course is that these times are not new to us and therefore we should know how to breakthrough more easily.

As our beautiful, intelligent and remarkable first lady takes her place in the white house, I am in awe yet I know that it doesn’t change the strong black woman “lifestyle” for many other Black women. Black women are taking the nation by storm, exceling, advancing, climbing the ladder at a record pace yet still the icon lives in us, deep in our spirits. Without giving a long history lesson or casting shadow on the accomplishments of Michelle Obama and other fearless, black women on the move, I say we still have a long way to go. While I respect, admire, appreciate and applaud women of color for fighting their way to the top, I too realize the burden of carrying this iconic spirit within us. We know that staying at the “top” takes much more emotional and spiritual energy to stay there.

So I share with you, black women, women of color and all women. We need each other not only to get there but to stay there. Black women we need to learn how to be vulnerable, to allow someone to take care of us in an emotional way. We can benefit from asking for help, we do not have to do it all or do it alone. While I am not encouraging you to let go of an icon that has kept you for so long, I am asking that you create balance in your life. To practice self-love, to delegate, to connect and collaborate, to help a “sister” out when she needs it and realize that you too need a strong shoulder to lean on. We have a wonderful journey ahead and as you travel it take care of yourself along the way.

By Catrice Jackson

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