What Do Men Talk About? May 22, 2013Expert BlogsOff

Recently we interviewed male managers from around the globe about barriers to women’s advancement. Of course the topic of women’s strategic networks arose and we heard comments like:

“Networking is key in our company, you need strong networks to survive.”

“In times of organizational change, networking is even more important and difficult.

“Networking can be difficult for women becaus they are often not part of the established base.”

“In a predominantly male culture, it’s easier for ment to engage in conversations due to shared interests.”

So on my trip from a hotel to airport in Europe, I made it a point to subtly listen in on a conversation between two men who had been in the country for a business meeting. Here are the topics they talked about in the order of the conversation:
 
Current Events
Conversation opened with the man from the U.S. asking the man from the UK – “so, is London gearing up for the Olympics?”
 
Vacation Plans
“Do you have any holiday plans?” asked the Brit. The U.S. guy was planning something later in the year because his kids are grown. The Brit 2 weeks in July when kids were out of school (that’s it about kids!)
 
The Weather
What a beautiful day it was, the weather back home.
 
The Event
“What did you think of the meeting?” This led into a conversation about the topics, people, etc.
 
The Industry, Competition and Impact on Top Line
They talked about what was happening in the industry – especially the actions of competing companies. This turned into a discussion about the impact on the top line, the fact that the division was ahead of projections, whether that was because they under-promised, etc.
 
Thinking about conversation starters and what to talk about, this list provides several networking insights for women who are attending business meetings for their own company.
 
1.     When I compare their conversation (which, by the way had long comfortable silences) with common topics women talk about I’m struck by how often women raise the “do you have kids?” question.
 
This is not a topic that men generally discuss with each other – and while they might appreciate the opportunity to brag about their children, it might not be the best place to start.
 
2.     Women certainly can easily talk about the weather, vacation plans. So, nothing special here.
 
3.     How often do you start a conversation with a statement or question about current events? Do you make it a point to stay interesting? As I write in No Ceiling, No Walls, “…cultivating outside interests…means staying up-to-date with what’s happening in the world. In other words, be interested so you can be interesting.”
 
Beware of complaining about anything. Focus on the positive. Focus on the impact of the meeting on your actions and the business going forward.
 
4.     The soft topics were a lead up to the 2 meaty topics – the meeting and the business of the business. Do you ever go there? Are you prepared to go there? Do you track your industry? Do you know what external forces are impacting the business and keep up to date with the trends? Do you know what’s happening with your financials?
 
If your answer is “no” to the questions above, give up a little television and make it a point to stay up to date on your profession, industry and competition. Pay attention to information you’re provided about financials and learn to understand what it means.
 
Following the tips in #3 and 4 will prepare you for more valuable strategic networking experiences – especially with your male colleagues! And equally importantly they show you are a businesswoman, not simply a woman in business.
 
Network ON!

Susan

Susan Colantuono, CEO and Founder Leading Women and author of No Ceiling, No Walls

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