8 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Career

“You can’t behave like the little girl you were taught to be in childhood and expect to achieve your adult goals,” says Dr. Lois Frankel.

As an executive coach to Fortune 500 companies like Goldman Sachs and BP, Frankel gleaned enough insight on women in the workforce to write the bestselling Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, which she’s revised to address 21st century issues like social media.

(Psst – Frankel’s also giving away a free career coaching session.)

Below are 8 simple ways to counteract the girlishness that may be preventing you from becoming the most powerful businesswoman you can be.

1. Smile less.
“Women smile to soften direct messages,” Frankel says, and that message gets confused by this habit. When expressing disapproval or displeasure, don’t grin – a serious conversation calls for a serious expression.

2. Put your hair back.
“Every time you touch your hair, you take a year off of your maturity,” Frankel says. If you’re guilty of the hair flip, tie it back so you can’t be tempted.

3. Get to the point.
Ditch the preamble.  “Every time you open your mouth, it’s a presentation,” Frankel says. Stop prefacing what you need to say with too much explanation: your audience starts wondering, ‘What do you really want from me?’

4. Cut back on words.
“The more words you use, you always soften your message,” Frankel says. You can blame it on a woman’s desire to prove her intelligence through displaying all of her knowledge, as well as fact that guys don’t provide comprehension cues like nods or “uh-huhs”. Don’t dilute your message. Short sentences are strong ones.

5. Sit on your hands.
“Don’t volunteer for low-profile assignments,” Frankel says, especially if they don’t put you in front of the powers-that-be. If you want to achieve work-life balance, let someone else plan the office picnic and spend your valuable time on projects that showcase your talents.

6. Stop making miracles.
Women tend to overachieve by offering to do a week’s worth of work in a day just to prove their worth. Frankel says the key here is “managing expectations” – if you’ve got 15 minutes for a project that could take an hour, put those time limits out there up front.

7. Get feedback outside the office.
Frankel tells women to join a group like Toastmasters, which helps women practice and get feedback on their public speaking and communication skills in a setting outside the office.

8. Establish your personal brand.
For all of these tips to help you get to the corner office, you have to know where that office is. And then you have to market yourself for it.

Frankel says to think of why you buy brand names instead of generic: your favorite brand is trusted, well-marketed, and full of quality and cachet.  It’s your job to make sure that you’ve created that for yourself.

“It’s about taking responsibility for your life and your career,” Frankel says.

Have you made any of these mistakes? Tell us!

BONUS PINK Link: Want to be a better leader? Try leading with acceptance.

By Alison Loughman

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Mae West