Move over Rover, Women Supporting Women Taking Over! May 22, 2013Expert BlogsOff

At the risk of upsetting the apple cart, I am going to risk it. Yes I am! I want to ask a simple question and I so hope I am completely dead wrong because frankly, I have had it! Ladies, if you are one of these, look out; you are about to be moved over, Rover!

Here is my question:

Why is it that some of the more/most experienced women in their careers are content and, in some cases, proud to sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labor in the form of great bank accounts from their career success and let the next generation of women claw their way, sleepless night after sleepless night, to the next assignment, only to ultimately get so tired of disrespect or the effort to leave it all together?

I ask this because I have and continue to run into women who have, by all measures, made it and yet appear to take pride in the fact that others will have to go through the torture of “not fitting in, not being invited the boys outings, being deleted off the invite list, or being lucky enough to sit through another strip club just to try to fit in or not asked on the strategy meeting.” There is a strong bitterness involved, and anger from them of “take that” like some strange twist on the scene from Animal House, during the spanking scene. “Please give me another” form of torture, heartache, and feelings of wanting to take off running out of the office never to return is the image that comes to mind. And, it’s more than a coincidence based on the numbers of terrible stories I continue to encounter that will even take some form of pride in ensuring that the younger women suffer or are simply in denial and will say “I don’t see a problem.” Or they will say “I don’t want to help women over men” or “I made it, and they will, too” or “it builds character.” Why not just say it will “put hair on your chest” like a stiff drink of moonshine? And that has produced what again, in terms of betterment of society? Actually, I could use one of those stiff drinks right now! Perhaps all of this would make more sense. What’s amazing is that this is the very opposite of what the guys do for each other, and by the way, regardless of rank. In fact, those guys with the highest rank take it as a moment of ego and pride to bring the next boy to his potential. It’s is no wonder we continue to clip along at a pitiful rate of moving the dial of women in senior levels across the board. It’s why we have only 11 of the top Fortune 500 companies being run by a woman; its why women win seats in office at a paltry rate; its why we fail to make the world a better place for all.

Let me say one thing about this. It stinks, it is sickening, and these women are definitely not in any way, shape or form leaders of anything or any kind. I don’t care what they have done in terms of “points on the board” or “the first woman to do this or that.” Unless you take a stand actively to do everything with your power to help the next generation of voices not heard, you are not a leader at all. I have heard enough stories from others and, by the way, experienced it first hand myself more times than I would like to remember! If you are unwilling to take a stand as a leader and support those at lower levels, you are nothing more than, at best, a manager of things, not a leader of anything, let alone people. Why? Because the very definition of leadership is building skills, networks and confidence in those at lower levels than you. The very essence of leadership is creating opportunities for others, as many others as you can, to enable them to believe in themselves and become someone they never dreamed possible. What are you worried about? That some younger, perhaps more talented woman will outshine you? It’s the only possible scenario that has been proposed to me. And, no matter the reason, it is wrong!

Well, the good news is many, many women by the thousands and, hopefully, soon millions are passionately lining up to deliberately make amazing change happen for women, ethic diverse people and, ultimately for everyone. And, we are taking over and creating a new way it’s done… through support, building confidence, opening doors, being vocal about another woman’s talents. One day soon, it will be very “uncool” to be one of these “brace yourself” women who will sit alone in their own little stiff backed chair proudly being the only woman at the table. Women supporting women has become THE thing to do and we are going to create a new way of being, a new way of leading, and I already know the results because I have witnessed them first hand by the thousands. And, I have personally seen, through WOLF over the course of 5 years, what can happen in business growth in a massive way and what can happen to communities, to all people and to those supporting each other. It is nothing short of breath-taking the energy harnessed to create growth in everything with this new way for women. You support a woman and they support 5 and the pay it forward becomes the most energizing thing you can do.

More good news exists, and that is the growth being generated in all industries by women! The majority of growth across all sectors is women! Women account for 83% of the spending in all consumer goods and services. One could whisper not so quietly that they are walking toward the road of incompetence with this behavior of theirs. So, ladies, failing to support other ladies and get their voices of growth at the table will get them a fast ticket to a failing business for themselves. And, it will be a matter of time before you non-supporting ladies are sitting quietly and alone in your armchair of hell thinking of the real reason you wouldn’t engage and hear the voices of long past asks for help, meet and greets you cancelled the day of or just failing to give a “way to go” for the only woman to present to the board of directors. Better yet, the one woman in front of you attempting to present at a senior strategy meeting and the best you gave her was ignoring her the entire time by working your blackberry and whispering to your neighbor. You couldn’t even give her the ultimate freebie of eye contact or reach out your hand when she tried to introduce herself. It mattered then and it will continue to haunt you, as it should. You failed to be a leader when it mattered most!

Perhaps you sense my passion around this subject and you guessed right. I am frankly, exhausted debating this topic when it is so clear, crystal clear as a bright sunny day. And, the paradox of all this is that as you reach and help the next person be successful in ways that are EASIER than what you had it, it makes you a better person and leader. And, you helped enable a better world to be built for all!

I ask for your help on this. Please ask every single senior female leader you meet in the airport, at the bar, in the boardroom, in the shoe department of your favorite store, or waiting in line at the doctor, “what are you doing to help women leaders younger than you?” Because I can tell you none of us are doing enough, me included! And the only way we make change happen is to partner together, be true leaders, and elevate the next and the next. And, please put the need for articles like this in the graveyard of change permanently! Rover… things have changed so they need to either get on the support wagon or head to the nasty little corner where they belong! Enough said!

By Julie Gilbert

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