Love Language For Our Kids?

Knowing your child’s language of love makes parenting a little easier. Why? Well, if your child is feeling off or having a hard time with something, you will have specific behaviors that will help them feel loved and will hopefully shift  their mood.  The trickier part is figuring out which of the 5 love languages your child prefers. 

Offering further commentary  on learning your child’s ‘love language’ is Clinical Psychologist, Health Service Psychologist, a Board Certified Music Therapist and Momprenuer, Dr. Bethany Cook author of What it’s Worth – a perspective on How to Thrive and Survive Parenting. She believes that children benefit from receiving love in each of the 5 forms, but they typically prefer and feel one a little more than the others. Cook’s tips on addressing each form below:


Physical Touch: 

  • Ways to show love through touch:
  • Brush their hair
  • Offer to cuddle
  • Buy different bristle paint brushes and “paint” their arms, back, and legs.  
  • This could be done in a bath or just when watching TV.
  • Gentle shoulder squeeze as you walk past.
  • Holding hands as you walk.
  • Sitting close enough to touch.


Words of Affirmation: 

  • Leave a note of encouragement for them in their lunch.
  • Let them overhear you talking positively about them to someone (can even be a stuffed animal.)
  • Say affirmations with them each day.
  • Call or text them out of the blue with an inspirational quote.


Quality Time Together:   

  • Engage 100% in a preferred activity of theirs (playing cars, reading, walking).
  • Set aside a chunk of time once a week to have “us time” and plan together during the week what you will do.
  • Sometimes it’s just about sharing the same space and you can be present in their room doing some work (on the phone, cleaning, etc) while they play.
  • Let your kid know you canceled your plans (once in a while) when conflicts arise to do their thing instead of yours.
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