Linda Franklin – Founder, The Real Cougar Woman May 20, 2013PINK NotesOff

A pioneering Wall Street business woman puts a positive spin on aging, sex and career for women over age 40.

By Taylor Mallory

The first Canadian woman to own a seat on the New York Stock Exchange and to manage an all-male trading department for a leading Wall Street investment firm, Linda Franklin approached mid-life and was hit by what she calls the tsunami of change. “All these things were happening to me – menopause, leaving Wall Street and losing my corporate identity, changes in my relationships because I was changing,” she explains. “At a certain age, that happens to all of us. All the things you never dealt with come crashing down, and you to have to step back and re-evaluate your life – from your health to the way you look to what you really want.”

She knew she wasn’t alone in her difficulty with the transition. When she started researching aging and mid-life, she came across the slang term “cougar,” a woman over age 40 who “prowls” for younger men. “I needed to change this image,” says Franklin. “That’s not what real women are about, and it’s making a mockery of women in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.” So she started The Real Cougar Woman to redefine the word – and share the secrets she learned about becoming even better (and happier) with age here and in her new book, Don’t EVER Call Me Ma’am.

PINK: How did you get to the top of a male-dominated industry?
Linda Franklin: I went to Wall Street because I wanted to make money and thought that would be a good place. I moved to New York from Toronto with just a high school degree and became a secretary at a trading firm. It was a great job for three years. Then, I realized that I didn’t have a lot of room left for advancement. I told my boss I wanted to work in the trading department. I was 29-years-old, and I had finally started to believe I could do whatever I wanted and create the circumstances for that. It was a big year for me. I never felt like that before 29. He said I could, but it was all or nothing. If I didn’t make it there, I was fired. I started as a clerk. By end of second year, I was the first female partner in firm history. I became a trader with my own seat on the Stock Exchange and then took over the department, managing men with Harvard and Wharton MBAs. Because I believed in myself, I got other people to believe in me too. And it was a fabulous career. A dream. I loved it. But there’s more than one thing you can do in one life, and I’m proving that.

PINK: What does a real cougar woman embody?
L.F.: We are not afraid to knock down walls and crash through glass ceilings. We are confident, or if we aren’t, we certainly want to feel that way. We’re looking back at the past 40 years (what worked and what didn’t work) and asking what we want in the next 40. We’re willing to step out more now than ever before. We love men, but we refuse to be defined by the age of the man we choose to be with. We’re over caring about what other people think. We’re learning to make ourselves No. 1 on our priority lists, to keep our bodies healthy, our beauty radiant and our spiritual reservoirs filled. And last but not least, we’re prioritizing financial freedom and realizing the importance of being in charge of our finances and being as independent as we want.

PINK: What job skills does a real cougar woman need?
L.F.: Just stay strong in who you are and don’t compete with men on their level. You can shoot yourself in the foot that way. When I was running a department with all men employees, I displayed masculine traits but softened them with feminine ones. Sometimes, I had to put myself in the line of fire. I had to be very strong and stand up for myself, so I didn’t get second-hand treatment because I was a woman. With these guys, you had to yell and scream and do the “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” act. But if someone had a cold, I ran to get aspirin or tea. I was mother hen, but when I had to put my feet to the fire, no one could hold me back. They saw both sides. And they respected that.

PINK: What is your best tip for the second half of your life?
L.F.: List everything you have going for and against you – from health to beauty to relationships to kids to sex to debt. Make a balance sheet with an asset side and a liability side and plug those in for a clear view of your life. If everything is on the asset side, don’t change a thing. If it’s titling the other way, you’ve got some work to do. The next 40 years will be rewarding but more challenging, so you have to be prepared. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and allow yourself time to de-stress. You need to decompress sometimes.

PINK: How do you relax and rejuvenate yourself?
L.F.: When I work on fumes, nothing gets done. I meditate or listen to a spiritual tape that puts me back into that good-feeling place. That is key. What is it that puts you into that place of feeling good? Is it playing with your kid, taking a bath, jumping into the sack for a roll in the hay? Whatever it is, do it. Spend at least 10 minutes of your day doing something that makes you feel great.

PINK: What’s your message for women under age 40?
L.F.: I call them cougars-in-training. No age is too young to start. You’re going to age. It happens to all of us, and the more you know at a young age, the happier you’ll be when you get there. Every woman will go through menopause and changes in her health, looks, relationships – herself. But it’s a great time in a woman’s life. So it’s about empowering young women, so they don’t fall into same traps our mothers and grandmothers fell into. This is the age when women are finally coming into power. In the 60s, we were burning bras. We are the Boomers, and we make change happen. We’ll make this happen too.

PINK: How do you balance work and life?
L.F.: I just do. I work from home, so my hours are flexible. I’m a morning person, so in summer I get up and start working with the sun at 5:30. I force myself to stop when I know it’s time to stop. I don’t want my husband and friends to feel neglected. Trying too hard at balance is like pushing through brick wall. My best ideas come when I’m quiet, in my play time or off-time, not sitting at my computer.

PINK: What’s your best business advice for women?
L.F.: Be secure in whatever you’re doing in life. Insecurity is a disease responsible for lots of career fatalities. And as a woman, it’s about being visible. Not obnoxious, but people should know your accomplishments, and you should be rewarded for them. Women often feel they have to hide their amazing talents. And they’re wrong. I was talking to a fabulous doctor today. I don’t think she’s showing the world how fabulous she is, because we don’t like to toot our own horns. But you really must do it.

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